No matter how we look at it, cheating sucks! Whether it happens after two months of dating or even years of being together, when a person cheats it can cause a lot of hurt and foster feelings of insecurity.But what exactly does it mean to cheat and how can a person move on if theyâ€™ve been cheated.
What counts as cheating?
There isnâ€™t a single definition of what cheating is. The definition of cheating is different for different people. For example you might think that your partner flirting with or kissing another person is cheating but someone else would define cheating as having sex outside of the relationship.
Generally, there are two types of cheating: physical and emotional. As much as they are different, both types can be equally hurtful and difficult to deal with.
In todayâ€™s world of social media itâ€™s become much easier for people to be unfaithful and look for â€˜side chicksâ€™ or â€˜skhaftinsâ€™ on places like Twitter and Facebook and online dating sites. Keeping in touch with the person theyâ€™re having an affair with has become just as convenient; thereâ€™s Whatsapp, Mxit and all these other messaging apps that make it easier for people having an affair to communicate. With all this technology, your partner could be cheating right in front of you and you wouldnâ€™t know!
Now, we arenâ€™t saying this gives you the right to go through your partnerâ€™s phone and check for any suspicious behaviour (because then youâ€™re also guilty of breaking the trust). The best way for a couple to have a clear understanding of what cheating means to them is by having an honest conversation about what they consider to be boundaries of their relationship; the things that they are OK with the other doing and the things they are not OK with.
Letâ€™s chat about what causes people to cheat. These are some of the reasons for why a person chooses to cheat, :
Relationships can get a bit boring and more routine over time. For some people, when this happens, they go out in search for something more thrilling instead of speaking to their partner and figuring out what caused their spark to fade and what they can do to reignite that spark;like going to the movies more often or have date night and using that time to rekindle the relationship.
Our emotions are so complicated and unpredictable and when we donâ€™t confront them in an open and honest way they can cause us to do the wrong things. For example, after losing your job you might feel less of a man or a woman and this can have a knock on your confidence and it can only worsen if your partner is just as hard on you. So then to make yourself feel good again you might confide in someone outside of the relationship.